Brexit: The Endless Drama

Other | Monday 23rd January 2017 | Harriet

Since that fateful June morning, when Britain decided to leave the European Union, nothing has really happened.

‘Brexit means Brexit’ was as informative as watching a monkey scratch its own arse.

Hard Brexit or Soft Brexit: the nation has had to listen to a bunch of clichés and vague comments, with no clear plan for an independent Britain.

With the original Brexit team absent from the driving seat, it is as though we have been watching some strange drama: Nigel Farage running around with best pal Donald Trump, while loud-mouthed Boris continues to get himself into trouble, calling Vladimir Putin a tyrannical ‘Dobby the House Elf’.

Ironically we have a Remain-er steering Britain into its unclear future. But finally after months of waiting, Theresa May has set out her vision for post-Brexit Britain.

The Prime Minister confirmed that the UK is leaving the Single Market and the customs union. Despite this, she insisted that Britain still hopes for ‘the greatest possible access to [the Single Market] through a new, comprehensive, bold and ambitious free trade agreement’.  

Theresa May also said that our nation would take back control of our own borders, however she is yet to give an idea of the immigration system she envisions.

Although we gained some clarity as she outlined her objectives, she did not however explain how Britain would achieve this desired exit. Her speech consisted of vague ideas instead of concrete solutions, and was dismissed by Larry the cat as ‘hot air’: he was found lying on a hot vent outside 10 Downing Street during the PM’s speech.

Theresa May’s wishes are yet to be negotiated, and it is uncertain how much the EU will comply with Britain’s objectives.

Although unmentioned in her speech, Article 50 is supposed to be triggered in March 2017.

So we can look forward to several more months of objectives as opposed to decisions, of boundless ‘visions’ and ‘Britain’s destiny’, as the UK’s sticky divorce from the EU continues to drag on…