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How to Get Away With It: #1 Hungover at work
Wednesday 18th July 2012 | Osh
So, you’ve made the mistake of getting absolutely wankered on a school night. Hey, don't beat yourself up about it, we’ve all been there, after the ‘just one’ you planned, a few more seem like a genuinely great idea! But, when the last thing you remember is yelling ‘Jagerbombs for everyone!’ and next your alarm clock’s screaming at you to get up, it’s going to take more than an instant coffee to get you through the day without being rumbled by your boss. Fear not, all you weekday wasters, The Guestlist Network is here to guide you through the pain, and help you to get away with it.
1) Getting out of bed really is the hardest part, we promise. Rip off the bandage! Get your ass up and into the bathroom. Being late to boot isn’t going to help the situation.
2) A shower really is necessary. Have you smelt you? Get your alcohol sweats body into that shower and scrub. Exfoliation will reveal healthy new skin, and moisturiser will restore a bit of life, to get rid of that stale look you’ve got going on.
3) Dehydration is definitely the reason for 80% of the shittiness you’re currently feeling. Even though it’ll be the last thing you feel like, get as much water in you as you can cram down your neck. Add an alka-seltzer, or take a pinch of salt and a painkiller with it. Pro-plus, cold & flu tablets, heck, whatever you’ve got in the cupboard. Just don’t forget the water.
4) Ladies, all I can say is God Bless Make-Up. It’s times like these when I shut the hell up about patriarchy, objectification, and over-sexualisation, and pile that gunk right onto my face. Don’t get too cocky though, everyone will still know how you’re actually feeling when they look into your cold, joyless eyes.
5) Smile! Apparently smiling tricks your brain into thinking you’re really in a good mood, releasing chemicals that help with pain, energy levels, and happiness. It'll also make your colleagues more likely to help out with the work you blatantly can't hack today.
And, if all else fails, there are always the dead dogs, burst water pipes, and fainting fits of this world you can fall back on, and go back to bed.
Áine Ryan (@AineSays)
