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Excuses, excuses
Other | Tuesday 10th July 2012 | Osh
Sometimes, it can feel like people have nothing but excuses. When you need something done it seems like it’s a case of ‘sorry I can’t, I’m so snowed under right now’, or ‘oh I’m so sorry I haven’t got my work with me, the dog ate it’, or even, ‘no I can’t come out tonight, I’m washing my cat’. Well… Maybe not the last one quite so much. However, sometimes it really can feel like the excuses never end. There are only so many excuses that human kind can make up before they venture into the weird, wonderful and just plain bonkers. Here is just the beginning of a collection of typically rubbish, funny or just plain bonkers excuses that we at the Guestlist Network have come across over the years.
I was too busy Tweeting
Then you should probably see a doctor. That’s not normal.
I’ve gotta leave work early, I’m on Spanish time
Well, it’s a shame for you that the rest of us aren’t. Back to work.
I’m sorry I’m late, I forgot that time moved backwards and forwards
If this is genuine, and not simply a rubbish excuse for being late, then you shouldn’t be allowed out in public.
I just didn’t wake up
Incorrect. You did wake up, you just woke up late.
I didn’t manage to sell anything today, guess I’m just not attractive enough to sell anything in the street.
I er, hate to break this to you, but that’s not really the sort of business that we run here…
I don’t even know what targets are! What do targets mean?
Well, if you ever manage to hit any of them, soon enough you’ll be able to afford a dictionary, and then you can look it up and find out.
I’m sorry, I can’t have sex today coz I’m… er… underage.
Yeah, but only mentally.
I’m happy being single, I don’t like people touching me
That’s okay, soon enough they won’t, you just have to make it through that dreaded ‘honeymoon period’. Then, after that, when all of the love and emotion has been sapped out of your relationship and it’s steadily replaced with bitterness and anger, no more physical contact will occur.
I can’t be with you, my parents would never allow it. They don’t like ugly people.
Well, that’s just prejudiced… Wait… What do you mean by that?
There was an earthquake and my roof fell in, blocking the doorway, trapping me inside the house with no food or water for three weeks, until a passing rescue services vehicle spotted my crumbled abode and rushed me to hospital for starvation and hyperthermia.
Shut up.
There you have it, those are just a few of the excuses that the Guestlist Network have come across. Are those all of the excuses we’ve heard? Oh no… far from it.
Vicki Haughton
