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The Olympics: Not Just Fun And Games
Thursday 28th June 2012 | Osh
There’s no escaping it. London 2012 is coming. You’d better be prepared.
And if you even considered forgetting about it, well, good luck, because the entire city of London has been overrun with Olympic branding. Things you never thought of to represent anything remotely sporty have become pin-ups for the games, like Subway for example. Originally thought of as promoters for the obesity endemic more so than anything else, Subway have now become poster boys of post-Olympic workout nutrition. Yeah, as if Tom Daly has even touched a Meatball Marinara…
And if that wasn’t enough, there are campaigns going on at the moment encouraging Londoners to impress visitors by ‘helping to clean up their city’. Good luck with that one Boris. We didn’t even want London 2012 in the first place! Even less do we like the idea of the invasion of over four million people, all of who are going to judge how clean our streets are. Next the organisers will be shoving all the scruffy looking homeless people into hostels for the month. The pretty ones can stay out in the open of course, to keep it ‘authentic’, but only so long as they sell tulips and smile at tourists.
So far no real reason to complain; you can eat your greasy, yet guilt free, Turkey Sub on the pristine, blue azure of the canal without getting harassed for spare change by ugly toothless homeless people. There is however the potential trauma of the underground. No one really knows how it’s going to work; approximately 300,000 people flocking to the Olympic stadium in Stratford daily, most of them using the tube as their number one means of transport. Logistically, we’re all doomed. Early morning rush hour is bad enough as it is. After all, there’s only so much moving down inside the carriage we can do before our oxygen supply runs out entirely.
Laura Tucker
