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Trick-or-treating children given cocaine
Thursday 1st November 2012 | Jacob
Two lucky children receive the Class-A drug while trick or treating, parents unimpressed.
Times have clearly changed since I last went trick or treating. Back then the only return you could expect on your £7.99 Woolworths costume was a couple of fun-size Mars bars, maybe a generous handful of Celebrations if you hit up the rich end of town.
In a bizarre attempt to make Halloween less ‘spooky family fun’ and more ‘pranging out in Dalston’ it appears a couple from Oldham, Manchester included wraps of cocaine along with more traditional confectionary when answering the door to primary school aged children.
Rather than fuck-off doing their homework and go on a mad one, the children sensibly informed their parents. The couple responsible have been arrested under suspicion of supplying a Class-A substance; though detectives believe the drug was probably given in error.
And I should hope so too. Who would give coke to a ten year old? Aside from the obvious moral and medical implications, they’d take ‘talking-shit-while-off-your-tits’ to a whole new Nickelodeon-tinged level.
By Jacob Alexander Guberg
