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Milton Jones Interview
Other | Friday 16th December 2011 | Osh
Hey Milton, how’s life?
Good. Well, it’s wet and windy outside, and today I’ve got to drive to Chester to entertain 50 executives from BMW - so quite a dull day really.
Haha, fair enough. So you’ve been regularly deemed the “Surreal King of One-Liners” – how do you feel about that title? Do you think it suits you?
Erm, well it does sort of sum me up – I’d like to think that it’s not all that I do, but given that the press have to categorise people, I am prepared to put up with it. So it’s fine, it’s fine.
So you’re on Mock The Week a lot – does that ever get tiring or less interesting, or is it usually still a fun experience?
It’s actually a lot of hard work – it records for almost 3 hours, for a half hour show – so inevitably I end up shouting at the television a lot going “Where’s my really funny thing that they’ve cut??” So that can be annoying. And you have to try and be funny for all of that recording time. It’s a bit like your exams. You’re not entirely sure what might come up so you’ve got to revise around the subject, and you end up doing far more revision than you actually use. So that’s a bit annoying. But having said that, 6 million people watch it, and if I’m doing a tour I can sell more tickets as a result.
What’s the weirdest place you’ve done a gig?
I remember once in Ireland I got the address for the show and I went in and it was a shoe shop. I thought I’d got the wrong place, but there was a little door and it was a shoe shop and then you went through to a little theatre. I did an old people’s home once. It was great to get to the end of it without anyone dying. I remember I started off and I went “I’ll try and finish before any of you die”, and that didn’t go down that well.
Another time I was half way through something and they were all brewery staff. I said, “That’s a bit strange isn’t it, it’s your night off, and you get free food and drink”. And then someone shouted out “We don’t get free food” and so I said, “Well how come you’re all so fat then?” And then it all kicked off terribly, and she stormed out, and people were booing and others laughing. Because you have about half a second to think of something, you don’t know whether it’s funny or not until you say it. So, you know, it can be horribly difficult – or you’re the best thing ever! It’s just a situation you’re in night after night and you’ve just got to get used to it really!
Have you ever made a family or celebrity-based joke and accidentally seriously offended someone watching? That must be a danger with being a comedian – does it just come with the territory?
Yeah, it is a danger because you’re not quite sure what’s going on beneath the surface. I remember I was talking about sheep and someone shouted out, “There’s nothing wrong with sheep!” and I said, “I know, I’ve seen your wife.” But then I looked over and she was sitting in a wheel chair, and I just thought “Oh no!” I mean you just have half a second to think and then you’re faced with the terrible reality – you’ve got to blot it out and carry on. But it makes things interesting!
I’ll bet it does! Well it’s been lovely talking to you. What are you up to next? What’s next for Milton Jones?
I am obviously touring from January, so I’m busy trying to write a tour show, which, when you do one-liners, takes a lot of time, because you work, work, work, and then you’ve got a one liner which only takes 10 seconds to say. To make an hour and a half’s worth of material takes a long time. A lot of trial and error and doing new material nights and shows – that’s basically what I’m doing, apart from entertaining BMW executives in Chester tonight, hah… just trying to write jokes.
Well, good luck with that, I think we’re done! Nice talking to you.
Yeah, nice to talk to you too.
