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Stop Telling People That Others Have It Worse
Other | Monday 11th April 2016 | Sabrin
How many times have you been down in the dumps and been told something along the lines of, “some people have it so much worse than you do, you should be happy”?
It’s somehow become something of an automatic response when someone’s feeling low and shitty. It’s time to emphasise how hurtful and wrong it really is because we really need to stop saying it.
First of all, the very idea of telling someone that others have it a lot worse than them is probably the best way to create an emotionally blocked person. We’re going around indirectly telling each other that what we feel isn’t valid and that we should get up, dust off and get on with it because there are others in worse situations. Whilst we should always be grateful for what we have, we should always be acknowledging how we feel. If two people suffer from a car accident and one has to amputate a leg and the other a hand; does the second person have no right to complain? Of course not. There will always be someone suffering more than us and on the flip side, there will always be someone happier than us; it’s no reason to put our feelings to the side. We’re not supposed to feel guilty about being unhappy with our circumstance. It’s a natural human feeling and we need to understand our sadness before we can overcome it.
Society has become too damn judgemental and as a result we have a group of socially awkward people who have no idea how to express themselves without sounding like emotionally needy wrecks. When we are constantly being told not to be upset because others have it so much worse, we create an intimidating and threatening environment for people who need a shoulder to lean on.
It’s the same silly mentality that possesses people to tell those going through depression that it’s “just a phase” that they’ll grow out of. Don’t people understand that you need to accept the problem before you can truly move on from it? Especially considering that depression doesn’t discriminate; it doesn’t matter if you have a healthy life, a solid career and a happy relationship. Depression affects all kinds of people and the worst thing we could say to someone going through it is “snap out of it” or assuring them that “it’s just a phase”.
Although it came from religion, the idea that we are all only given the burdens that we can manage applies to us all. We do manage to overcome our lows eventually – some just do it quicker than others. Telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be upset because there are, say, children starving in Africa so we should be grateful, does absolutely nothing for the starving children and only isolates us from our own feelings.
So next time you’re feeling low, or you know someone who is, don’t say that there are bigger problems, don’t say that others have it worse, and don’t tell them to ‘snap out of it’. Take the time to understand your feelings, and then take steps to improve your situation.
