NEWS
EVENTS
How to be an Embarrassing Celebrity
Friday 19th October 2012 | Sophie
Three tried and tested ways to ruin your reputation through the media:
1. Be a Tw*t on Twitter :
Making offensive or intimate tweets is a sure-fire way to alienate your followers and embarrass yourself irreversibly. Take a leaf out of the book of one of the many celebrities that have irrevocably damaged their respectability via this particular social medium. There was Gilbert Gottfried’s jokes in bad taste about Japan’s earthquake, and who could forget the rather unfortunately named Congressman Anthony Weiner’s accidental tweet of his nether regions to all 75, 000 of his followers. Pun-tastic! Lastly, Sarah Pallin’s history of ugly, ignorant tweets is so vast, it wouldn’t be fair to pick just one.
2. Star in a Truly Terrible TV Ad:
There are so many of these gems to choose from. Take David Hasselhoff’s truly terrible German accent and tangerine tan in a tv advertisement for ‘Lean Pockets’. Both baffling and disturbing in equal measures. Then there was Diana Vickers feeble performance in the direly scripted Autumn/Winter Very.co.uk advertisment. Every single person involved in the particular advert should be made to watch it on repeat until they have fully realised everything that is wrong with it. Finally, the latest celebrity to compromise himself is Brad Pitt, whose involvement in the new Chanel No.5 advert can only do damage to his artistic integrity.
3. Pen a conceited, babbling Autobiography:
Or four, if you’re Jordan (sorry, Katie Price). I don’t know what is more inconceivable, the fact that Miss Price has found enough to say about herself to fill four entire books (on second thoughts, this is quite believable), or the fact that anyone is actually interested. It seems these days that anyone who is anyone writes an autobiography. Despite the fact that the vast majority of these wordsmiths have not achieved greatness, either because they are talentless, or because they have not lived long enough (Ahem, Justin Beiber), or most commonly, a deadly combination of the two. The Queen of daytime TV may have penned one of the more palatable autobiographies out there, but the fact that Sharon Osbourne’s life story is no less than the seventy-third best-selling book of all time does not say a lot for the direction of British literary tastes (the revelation that Fifty Shades of Sh*te is now the best-selling book of all time confirms this depressing truth).
Leaving the worst until last, there is Arnold Schwarzenegger. The bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned-politician recently released the monstrosity that is his autobiography: Total Recall- My Unbelievably True Life Story, proving beyond doubt that he is totally and unbelievably in love with himself. I can’t claim to have read anything more than snippets of his life-story, but why anyone of sound mind would put money straight into Schwarzenegger’s bulging pockets is beyond me. Naturally, the man who has spent his life pathologically lying has finally found “total recall”, in the form of blatant, piggish and egotistical self-promotion.
Remember this embarrassing ‘Head and Shoulders’ ad starring Jenson Button? If you can bare to watch it again, here it is:
By Sophie Douglas
