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‘Robustness Is Unavoidable’

Other | Wednesday 5th September 2012 | Osh

 

A Chinese Fish By-Product Company Seeks American Audience

“Yum-E-Freez Eel Milk: From nature's breasts comes an appetizing and vigorous frozen eel-milk product. It soothes the mouth on a hot day and fills one with strength! Available in male or female.” was the caption given to this incredible product endorsement used for a campaign in the United States from a Chinese company called Yu Wan Mei that specialises in fish by-products.

They have a range of other interesting innovations including a suspicious ‘Gel’ made from ‘all products’ with no actual specified use and packet shark gums designed to be eaten. They use the threat of sanity to ensure purchases from customers, announcing, “sensible and levelheaded customers cannot resist the safety and reliability of our full range of quality goods and foodstuffs.”

The company’s actual history is questionable. What one can gather from their ambiguous company write-up is that they begun in 1998, “without incident or legal complication”, they assure us and of course have grown since then with their incredibly unique product sales. The most interesting part, however, is that halfway through the write up, the statement, “The rumors are not true”, stands alone so that we are meant to recognise that this is important, however no further explanation is given.

So friends, whether male or female, enjoy an Eel Milk popsicle because Yu Wan Mei is going nowhere. After all, “only the most foolish do not know that demand for fish by-products can never be sated.”

By Emily Kay

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