Life may be an interminable journey to the grave, but your skin doesn’t have to tell the world.
As I get closer to my 22 and 1/2 birthday, I’ve found myself obsessed with my mortality, particularly that of my face. Unbelievably, Wetherspoon’s only checks my ID fifty percent of the time now, even whilst I engage in juvenile practices, that I am yet to grow out of, such as smuggling vodka in water bottles.
After scouring the internet, and notable guru: The Mum (who really wanted me to tell you that Sainsbury’s asked her for ID once), I have devised a skincare routine to preserve my face, and yours too if you fear your days of blagging under 16 tickets at theme parks are over. I quickly realised where I had been going wrong.
A number one tip is to start the day with a glass of hot water and a slice of lemon. The antioxidants found in vitamin C give the skin a fresh look and smooth out lines. I’ve been starting my day similarly for six years so it won’t be too hard to transition. My recipe was a mug of hot water, a squeeze of a triple espresso shot and a tablespoon of cane sugar (Fair trade obviously).
As a pre-teen I foolishly let myself be persuaded by equally foolish friends that people with dark skin don’t need sun cream… One sunburn in Australia later I was a changed person!
Sun damage is one of the biggest visible causes of ageing not to mention skin cancer, (which your dark skin is not immune to, so stop listening to 12-year-olds on buses). These days I wear so much factor 50 on holiday that people get offended thinking that I’ve put on white face.
Never Sleep in Your Make-Up
I recently read supermodel Caroline De Maigret’s book on How to be a Parisian, she concluded that a true Parisian might fall asleep with her heels on, but would never forget to take her make-up off. I’m a Londoner with my own sense of class, and whilst I had, perhaps, not been doing what was best for my skin, I had been doing what was best for the environment.
Following the government slogan ‘reduce, re-use, recycle’ I was happy to keep my make-up on for days if it still looked okay… For the love of the planet that is.
Gunk blocking your pores and oxidising into yucky free radicals? What are free radicals you say, my mum was vague, but expressed more clearly that you don't want your face to become a petri dish for youth stealing bacterium, so clean your bloody face!
Simple perhaps maybe, but it is important to find a product tailored to your skin. If you're lucky this is easy to do, just head to any chemist and buy something that smells good.
Unfortunately, if you have more sensitive or problematic skin types then it is absolutely essential, and I mean life or death important that you to take yourself to Selfridges and stay until you are carrying a small yellow bag with a bottle of something that costs more than you earn in a day.
Studies suggest that sleep deprivation can accelerate visible signs of ageing. That means get the hell off the internet and go to sleep… I don’t care if it’s 1 pm on a Tuesday and you have a meeting to go to. Your boss will understand… mine didn’t, but yours will, this is your face we’re talking about!