NEWS
EVENTS
A Guide to Staying Alive in Australia
Other | Monday 24th September 2012 | Osh
I have been to many places around the world, and all places have their own dangers. I come from a land down under and there are many of our potential visitors who are deterred from a visit for two major reasons. First of all, yes, we are extremely isolated and it is hard to get there from, well, anywhere, but most people seem to have this horrible notion that if they came to Australia, they might die.
This fear in not unfounded mind you, I am not going to pretend to be like fearless Steve Irwin and say “Ah it’s just a little stingray”, no these animals will kill you and I am aware of the dangers. But what I thought I would do is share with you some tips on how to live in harmony with the fierce creatures that inhabit our land.
- Most of these animals do not inhabit the cities. So stay in Sydney or Melbourne if you are truly terrified.
- When walking through the bush, wear long pants. (Not the Granny kind) Our snakes are of the top 8 most deadly in the world but their fangs are so small that they would not pierce denim and you will live to walk another bush trail.
- Stay away from crocodiles.
- Blue-Ringed Octopi are beautiful but to touch the beauty means certain death. So, weigh up the pros and cons of that.
- Koalas are cute and it’s all well and good to pet them at the zoo, but the wild ones will scratch your eyes out. If it helps you to leave them alone, try to remember that a lot of them have chlamydia. (No, really, you will get chlamydia and die)
- A lot of spiders are poisonous but some are not. As a general rule, the more sinister looking, the worse the poison. The vacuum cleaner is a useful tool for their eradication whilst keeping a safe distance.
- Sharks are one of the most highly feared threats for foreigners, however there is approximately only one shark fatality per year in the entire country. Thank you to the international media for the hype.
- Kangaroos will kick you to buggery if you get in their way, so don’t.
It is interesting to me because all these things have been instilled in me since I was quite young. Trips to the bush and the beach were a part of life and I never actually considered that it could be a problem to some. “Use your head” my Dad always used to say. And it’s true, because honestly, most of the tourists and even locals who get into trouble with wild animals, it seems to me, have been disrespecting nature and asking for trouble.
So good luck and use your head.
Emily Kay
