Cameron's brush with a brass agency

Other | Thursday 21st November 2013 | Alex

       I’m nearly always late on a Thursday. I find them to be the least inspiring 24 hours of any given week, nothing good happens on a Thursday. Except for today, something amazing was revealed in The Metro, London’s premier train seat filler between the hours of 8 and 11am. After flicking through the articles that have largely no point like; the highest earning dead celebrities, a piece on how it’s soon going to be colder than Iceland (as if that holds any bearing on anything) and Kate Middleton trying to retain her modesty in some wind, I came to latest piece of egg on Cameron’s face.

     Nestled comfortably into the top right hand corner of page 19, you will find a very flickpastable piece on how the government’s own twitter account (@number10gov) was following Carlton’s of London. There’s some out there that will be chuckling like a 4 year old and some to whom this reference goes straight over their heads. Carlton’s of London is one of many agencies in this city, this agency has however, a slight twist. Their niche in the market is that they are an:

“Elite London Escort Agency”

     Oh, David. Now why would you do that? Everyone already thinks you’re a boob, now you’re checking in on Carlton’s? Naughty, DC. This isn’t even the best part of the story, however. In a textbook move to distance themselves from this raunchy industry, Number 10 claimed that it was created under Gordon Brown. Classic politics. That’s the adult version of being caught in a smashed up China shop and blaming the devastation on the bull that you missed by not coming in the room 5 minutes earlier. Terribly mature.

     I like this brash manoeuvre, if it’s true that Gordon Brown followed Carlton’s, would anyone be surprised? No. If David Cameron followed them after saying that porn is bad, would it be the sweetest, minor victory? Oh, absolutely. Basically, anything that makes that quiffed enthusiast of anti-establishment rock look dafter than he already is, the better. Come on, David, do us a favour. Just say you did it, at the very least you’ll get someone on twitter describing you as a “#LAD”. It’s probably the best you can hope for. They just need to learn how to use social media, it' isn't that hard, y'know.