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Get ahead of the games... Why bother?
Other | Thursday 19th July 2012 | Osh
If you live in London, or if you travel or commute in regularly, you may have recently been greeted by Boris Johnson’s dulcet tones, telling you how busy the stations are going to be during the games. Apparently travel may be disrupted. Apparently the stations are also going to be very busy. Apparently you should be prepared. What I want to know is this… How is it possible for the trains to be any more rubbish than they already are?
Train journeys are, on the whole, painful. For one, the trains themselves rarely run on time. If you have a train that’s running on time, then some black magic must have been performed nearby. Not only this, but when they do finally arrive, they’re always busy, usually with at least one mental tramp wandering through the carriages. Finally, there is always (without fault), a strange wafting smell of urine. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad, but the pleasure of travelling on these peasant wagons costs an absolute fortune.
Even if you have the foresight to check your journey before you leave, and the train actually shows up on time, there is still a 70 per cent chance that half way through your journey the train will stop ominously and the overhead will buzz, as a monotone voice that can barely be deciphered crackles through. ‘I’m sorry to inform you that there has been a signalling problem, and your train has been delayed’. ‘I’m sorry to inform you that the tracks have been hit by lightning and that your train has been delayed’. ‘I’m sorry to inform you that there is leaf on the track, and therefore your train has been delayed. Travelling at non-peak times is stressful, travelling at peak time is akin to travelling in a cattle cart. Travelling during the Olympics… well. You’d have more luck growing some wings and flying in.
While Boris Johnson bumbling through overhead speakers telling us to plan ahead with our journeys during the Olympics may have been thought by his spinners to have been a considerate move on his part, in actual fact, it is little else but an annoyance. Why bother planning ahead for our journeys Boris? Guaranteed the trains still won’t work…
Vicki Haughton
