NEWS
EVENTS
Guestlist Does: Kuala Lumpur
Other | Wednesday 3rd September 2014 | Serena
Although there's only been terrible media surrounding Malaysia, it's always been on the checklist for everyone exploring South-East Asia, and with flights being dirt cheap now at £266 one way If you’ve done nothing but get a plane ticket there then here's our Guestlist guide to Kuala Lumpur from the moment you land.
Getting there:
You’ve made it KL congratulations! If you actually have nothing planned you’ll need internet surfing gadgets so don’t be afraid to take your iphone or laptop because South-Eastern countries are very tech driven and people are seen with about 3 smartphones casually, and you don’t need an adapter! A train from the airport to the city centre will cost you about £4 but the rest of inner city transport is like 30p. GET A SEA SIM (South East Asia Sim) countries like Malaysia had 4G up and running before the UK and it works brilliantly and cheaply. We recommend HotLink. If you’re like me and let the internet think for you then get a sim use google maps and you can run around being as ignorant as you like. A cab from the airport to the city centre should cost 55 Ringit.
Accomodation
If you don't have a place to stay there are a bundle of super cute, super friendly hostels in Bukit Bintang and its right next to the late night food market which is full of everything including porridge frog, satay barbeques, 1000 seafood dishes, dim sum, smoothies and whatever else you’ll let tickle your tongue . Although it is always best to look online at reviews, when in doubt pick the hostel with the nicest sign. The best hostel sign I saw in KL: ‘Reggae Mansion’, and a mansion it is, it boasts rooftop bars, kitchens, a library! And the rooms were so cute like little personal nests, so thats our top pick.
Bukit Bintang Food Market at Night.
Reggae Mansion in Old China Town
Reggae Mansion Dorms
Food
There is food everywhere, always & cheaply, Kuala lumpur has a reputation of being ‘the city that always eats’. Kuala lumpur is obsessed with street food and with such a multicultural society theres so much range. Check out Pudu market for the most tantalizing dishes and diverse variation.
Satay Barbeque Pudu Market
I feel its worth mentioning that there’s a handful of the KFC’s throughout Malaysia that only hire mute and deaf people which is a really cute.
(I know its only a KFC but it pulled on my heart gut)
Going out
There are several universities in Kuala Lumpur so on Thursdays Fridays and Saturdays there are student promotions around a central strip of clubs. These clubs are so bad that everyone bonds over their naff quality they offer but all ladies constant free drinks so I couldn't complain at all. The nicest bar there setting wise is the Skybar located in the golden circle although it was way too expensive, so you had to atleast try to look nice if you wanted to whore yourself out for drinks.
Sky Bar Kualar Lumpur
For a mixed banterous crowd go to Pisco Bar in Bukit Bintang.
Must See:
Batu caves:
These natural caves which are just a metro ride away certainly exceeded expectation. The limestone caves are 400 million years old, the Hindu people in Malaysia built a series of temples within the caves. To get to the caves, You have to climb a shitload of stairs next to a 50 foot tall golden statue. Theres approximately 272 steps, with signs along the way saying ‘no exercise’ so you’re not tempted to do that Rocky scene, you know just incase you get so pumped up you punch a monkey in the face. Theres a tour of the inner workings of the caves which is in the complete dark, scary as fuck and full of bats, although a creepy dark place where I can touch strangers is always a hit. This was a nice thing to do but the most endearing aspect were the temples and statues dotted around the caves. When you climb up especially during a prayer time, and you reach the top of this jurassic rock, the combination of the hymns, incense & colourful visuals leaves you feeling a warm spiritual oneness with all living things. Pretty trippy.
Petronas towers:
What: The tallest twin towers in the world because jihadis blew up the other ones.
Why: With the binoculars on the observation deck you can get a real feel for the best sniper view in Kuala Lumpur, I’m pretty certain its the only reason why people like really tall buildings.
Drugs:
Alcohol is your best friend in Malaysia. With bad publicity of fake alcohols emerging, the fridges and bars alike are riddled with British brand names to ensure ‘safety’. Rice wine is sweet & strong, I like to drink it from the bottle in a paper bag. The law in malaysia states that possession of drugs including marijuana lead to the death penalty. Knowing this, I very quickly found a bar in with a familiar ‘Reggae’ sign so I instantly made myself at home although this was a much scummier part of town.
After discussing my Bob Marley t-shirt with a local girl, the subject came up pretty quickly and I got hold of some in less than half an hour. I got some thrown in my palm a muddy ball of thai for 10RM (about £2) ‘You can’t smoke it on the street at all’ advised the girl. As curious as I was to see if officials would actually chop off my head for smoking this outside, I asked her where she smokes. She very kindly invited me to a festival just outside the city where it would be more relaxed and let loose a little more.
Festiva Fun
Every year Kuala Lumpur hosts ‘Good Vibes Festival’ which grows bigger every year and pulls in international headliners such as Ellie Goulding, Banks and Empire of the Sun for 2014. With the festival mixing up regional acts in between and in three Dj tents including a silent disco (lol).
Good Vibes was a brilliant way to get an instant taste of the music culture in KL. Set in Malaysia former F1 grand prix race track just outside KL, it definitely drew excitement arriving to the site. Unlike any other festival you would see in the UK or even USA, there was a shitload of sponsoring from Marlboro cigarettes who had gourmet chefs whipping up crazy chemical desserts in front of your face and feeding you frozen treats as well as free lighters and what I call 'ciggie bitches'. Acts literally out performed each other throughout the night and although there clearly wasn’t a drug taking culture throughout the country it was refreshing to have some good clean fun for once.. bar the thai spliff.
With a 40 foot bag jump on site, several sponsored games and screen interaction there was plenty to keep you playing, and with everyone in high spirits and great music it was one of the best places to be in KL.
Hotlink bagjump photo: Tianchad
With Ellie gouldings first performance in Malaysia, everyone went crazy when she eventually came on and spirits were high. Although it was short (just a day 4pm-12pm) The event was well constructed and certainly gave you a taste of the best KL has to offer.
Ellie Goulding at Good Vibes 2014 photo: All Is Amazing
Overall experience
Kuala Lumpur looks to be the utopia of the future, there is every kind of community possible that all just get along swimmingly including its very integrated 60% muslim community, strangers are helpful and smiling all the time, almost everyone uses green energy, their food is dope, everyone is highly educated and their technology booming.
However, there is something lacking that truly gives places its experience factor. With little social discourse there didn't seem to be any rebellion against certain things, any punk or even a clear red light district. Although there was a little rebellion going on in the airport.
It needed some kind of sin to sink your teeth into. Although I think it’s preposterous that a government would sentence someone to death for smoking weed, its clearly these kinds of harsh punishments that have caused people to behave. Perhaps a bit too well.
With so much opportunity to literally fuck shit up I almost felt it my duty to start a ring of high class hooker ninjas that would loot penthouses of the countless 5 star hotels that Kuala Lumpur boasts. Or grow crops of super skunk and distribute it throughout the city, just to become the Queen of Terror in the most peaceful and functional city I have ever seen and bring it down in a glorious blaze.
@hijack_d
