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Stephen Fry Racks Up at Royal Palaces - We Rack Up in The Royal Festival Hall.
Other | Friday 26th September 2014 | Tom
National treasure Stephen Fry, in his new Autobiography More Fool Me, confesses to hooting up cocaine in some of England’s most regal establishments. The majority of us would never get within 50 feet of the front door, but then we're not Stephen Fry. He got into these venues, then he went in in these venues
Fry managed to find suitably flat surfaces in Buckingham Palace, the House of Commons, the House of Lords and Windsor Castle. Although not the first to rack up in parliament, this list is still impressive. He has now taken the opportunity to ‘apologise unreservedly to the owners, managers or representatives of these noble and ignoble premises.’
We can only applaud Mr Fry’s audacity and the size of his balls. He admitted it was not for reasons of depression or anxiety, but because he ‘really, really liked it’. Was it wicked, Mr Fry? I’m sure it was.
Would we have done the same if we had Fry’s access and his disposable income? Could we carry ourselves through a crowd of notables whilst caked up to the hilt?
We’d most likely end up like this guy in the video above. Classic.
A quick survey of the local population found that most of us have tried equally audacious and desperate attempts to get fucked in stupid places. Our fist sordid tale comes from a young man who got caught blazing in Radio 1 toilets on a school trip to be interviewed by a young Chris Evans. The reprobate in question got caught by his teacher who then took a toke before sending the boy up to be interviewed. He was asked 'What's your favourite school dinner?' To which the stoned boy replied 'My Mum'. This isn't a tale of cannibalism but pure lean confusion. Smooth.
Accidently smuggling powder into Parliament on a university trip was the next best admission. A guy strode up, high on pride about entering such an illustrious venue, only to panic at the body scanners and security, as he at that moment remembered the wrap of ketamine inside his wallet. The rest of the trip was spent in a hellish limbo between paranoia and the thought 'wouldn't it be good to do K in parliament'? Naturally the latter thought won. Stephen Fry would scoff loudly at this sorry, sorry individual, we think.
We also spoke to a very bad girl who sniffed drugs at an official royal establishment. We've found a young Stephen Fry in our midsts! Someone who fears no monarch. This young lady got her high at...The Royal Festival Hall. Royalty proved to be no barrier to our intrepid young Colombian baron. Still at an arts venue though, albeit for Beethoven and not Break-Beat; but pretty far off still from a doing a line with one of the corgi's at the palace.
As these tales from from our very neighbourhood testify, it's not just the QI-Master who's been at it. Seems we all have tales of our exploits, darkening the doors of the hallowed places with our naughty, naughty ways.
But we'll admit that First Prize goes to the man who stormed the Palace of Westminster on a raging white unicorn and had a wicked time! Fry, we salute you.
