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Funny women are scary

You’re talking to a hot stranger, and you think you’re in with them.  It’s time to close the deal, and the way you choose to is through making a joke.  Make them laugh, make them yours, it’s been happening ever since man began to speak in languages.  At least, that’s the way it seems to be for men.  Ever heard of a man laughing a woman into bed? Probably, it happens all the time.  Now think carefully – ever heard of a woman laughing a man into bed? No? This may be because according to certain studies, funny women simply aren’t sexy.

It is often stated that one of the most attractive features for a partner to have is a good sense of humour. Finding a partner that can make you want to cry with laughter is something that most of us desire and something that most of us actively look out for.  So why is it that when a woman displays a sense of humour she may be considered to be less attractive than the girl who doesn’t even know what a pun is. As a woman who could never rely purely on her looks or interesting stories to attract both friends and partners, I reverted to trying to attract people by finding ways to make them laugh.  As generic as it may sound, a sense of humour really is one of the most attractive features that a man can have.  Surely it should only go the same way for me, a woman, in the sense that if I managed to wow a potential mate with my hilarious story about the time I accidentally joined a children’s judo class, I would then be able to get any man I wanted.  My plan was fool proof.

My plan failed. My stories fell flat, because someone forgot to tell me that according to studies, funny women are intimidating. While a sense of humour is high on any respectable man’s list on what’s attractive about a woman (with, of course a nice rack and the ability to make sandwiches), that sense of humour does not necessarily have to be demonstrated by the woman making the jokes.  Apparently what is truly attractive is a woman finding her partner funny; generally speaking and according to certain studies, men want a partner who will confirm their own sense of humour – not challenge it.

There are, apparently, evolutionary reasons behind why men may want to be found funny. Male humour is often described as being competitive. This competitiveness (or rather the desire to be the funniest man) according to some science geeks is part of a man showing his ability to mate.  As humour is often considered to be a trait of intelligence and a sign of a healthy mind, a funny man is therefore more attractive to a woman than a dull one.  The interesting part is why this seemingly doesn’t apply to women.  These reports claim that while it is the norm for a funny man to be considered more attractive to his female counterparts than a humourless one, a funny woman may simply come across as intimidating.  A woman who displays more wit than the fella she’s trying to impress could inadvertently be emasculating him. This links to another theory, which suggested that the reason men don’t fancy funny women is that humour is considered to be a masculine trait.  A few traits commonly linked to testosterone production in a girl are fine, and even perhaps actively encouraged (an interest in sport for example, a penchant for drinking beers, being unobservant), but too many mannish traits and men will be fleeing. Apparently, having an active sense of humour may just be that final straw.

It seems to boil down to this then.  Funny women are scary.  Intelligence and wit may be considered to be attractive in a man, but in a woman, it’s just plain wrong. Sorry witty ladies of the world, you're just too darn intimidating. 

Vicki Haughton

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