Cash Genie Xmas Poem Winning Entry
Congratulations Katie Allen who won £200 for the best Xmas poem - Sponsored by Cash Genie
Crimbo chances, picture the scenarios...
Squeezing then dragging a loved one/person you fancy under the mistletoe,
Drunken excuse to grab someone's bum at the Xmas party
But wanna get your brain into gear, steer clear from pervy workmates
When you get home, slapping your sister's tummy when she's shovelling food
In the mood to overindulge in mulled wine, divine!
Skirting over issues that should be shouted about,
Eating n' drinking until you're stuffed and pass out
Pretending so hard to be an upper crust family,
Blood, sweat and tears masking our fears with this party charade
Made to endure cheesy music until fade, wishing we'd get laid instead
Fed and paid the price, now opening feverishly our Christmas pressies
Melodramatic unfolding events from our parents,
Choking on a mince pie, think you’re about to die
Sigh in delight, spy on a private conversation
Elation when you pull a cracker with all your might,
Then pulling a muscle causing quite a fright, despite!
Listening to Grandpa droning on about the past
Fast approaching a major argument from last year,
Mum drumming into us to enjoy, but help her and behave
Obviously making such an over the top fuss,
Singing jolly songs, a-plenty out of tune
Dad snoozing in the chair, unaware of all the care and despair in his lair
Visually jabbing an annoying relative with a prong,
Family members bragging and bickering, in the kitchen and around the table
Yawning over silly retro old skool board games,
Telly making one feel lazy and bigboned
Crazy Uncle dancing dangerously to the Wii,
Rowdy baby cousins opening and shutting the oven,
Secretly cheering on your little brother, for causing so much funny bother
'Laughing until it hurts' memories, learning little from lessons
Not forgetting you would actually really miss these traditional festive shenanigans!
